i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
