I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
