i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
