jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Randomize
