these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
