can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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