She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
