I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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