This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Randomize
