nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
