Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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