the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
