you will always have a special place in my vag
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
