Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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