Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
