ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
