this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
