it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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