Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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