Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
