spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
