I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
i think im in europe. pls send help
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
