Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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