i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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