She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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