Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
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