i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
i believe in u and ur pee
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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