Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
