He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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