If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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