I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
