So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
im six kinds of drunk right now
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
