it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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