Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
