I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
My vagina is officially offended.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
