One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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