That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
i now understand why vodka
Randomize