I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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