I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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