you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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