nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
