A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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