If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
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