I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
