i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Randomize
