He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
