If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
