Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
