i don't like sucking hair
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Randomize
