Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
