dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
