How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
