We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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