Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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