I swear she didn't look like that last week.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
