Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
