i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
