I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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