what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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