hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
how drunk are you?
Several
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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