she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
