He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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