I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
