come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
